Thursday, August 27, 2009

Thinking Feeling

Ok, I don't know exactly how to say what it is right now that I am feeling, so I am just going to say it.

I feel like I am destined for great things.

Even in my "struggles" (And I "quote" that because, compared to many in this world, my struggles would be a walk in the park!) I still have hope. Like, I don't know when or how (Like, seriously, HOW?!?) I'm going to get through some of these labyrinth pathways that are forced in front of me, but I can see a light coming from somewhere!

I'm an artist. I know, it's hard to see, seeing I dropped -- err, flunked (heh heh ... ) out of art college. And what have I done in the past year since being out of school? Oh, maybe a painting. But I still feel called to it. Well, I feel called to something ... I dunno. Just called.

All I know is that God is far from finished with me. And He's taking care of me. And He's got great things in store for me! And I also know that I desperately need to get in touch with Him again. Because, I miss Him. And I am sure He misses me more than I could ever know.

And then these things, like being better to my body -- the temple of His Holy Spirit; and putting less value in secular consumerist things, and more value in genuine relationships, and love, and joy (!!) will come much easier. At least I hope.

And these worries, and these desires of my heart, like a husband, a family, a home of my own, a garden to provide for my family, they'll all come.

I think I know where I have to start. I'm signed up for the Intro to Health Basics Class, and I'm going to join Pottery. But I need a better handle on my finances, this I know! And, most importantly, I need to get back in with the church. I've found a church I like! And I go every other Sunday -- because right now that's all I get off! But I need a community again. And, it's not surprising that this is the hardest of these challenges for me to face right now. (Ok, so maybe the finances too ... but I know what I have to do there! And it's just plain ol' not be stupid!)


So sorry if I lost you in all this mess. Believe it or not though, for me, it kinda helped.

... I think,

Yeah, we'll leave it at that.


  1. Sweet Tammy! You are doing just great! What an example you are to many. You are a deep thinker and you are truly concerned about where you are with God. Do not worry for God does have great things in store for you I am sure. Get fully involved at Church, serve the Lord with everything you have, enjoy Christian fellowship with people your own age. Pray and read your Bible daily and I am sure you will find a peace over these things.
    Love and hugs
    Collette xxx

  2. Hang in there! I feel the same way, just wondering what God has in store for me and where & when is my next job going to come along. All in good time, right?! Sounds like you are taking some great steps, Church, class and pottery. They sound fantastic!Have fun!

  3. Tammy. You ARE destined for something wonderful. I can tell. And, you are right about God. His plan is perfect. I suspect He is missing me too, and that is why he sent me to this post today. Ye ole kick in the pants from God! Imagine.

    I haven't been to church (faithfully) since we lost Heller. We LOVED our church and Heller LOVED our church and we were SO CLOSE to God. Then, without warning, Heller was gone and I was angry and what better way to let God if He didn't already. I guess I punished myself though. Now, I can't get the jump start back...

    Anyway, as I said, I KNOW you are destined for greatness! Keep the faith! Hugs, Hayley


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