Ok, I don't know exactly how to say what it is right now that I am feeling, so I am just going to say it.
I feel like I am destined for great things.
Even in my "struggles" (And I "quote" that because, compared to many in this world, my struggles would be a walk in the park!) I still have hope. Like, I don't know when or how (Like, seriously, HOW?!?) I'm going to get through some of these labyrinth pathways that are forced in front of me, but I can see a light coming from somewhere!
I'm an artist. I know, it's hard to see, seeing I dropped -- err, flunked (heh heh ... ) out of art college. And what have I done in the past year since being out of school? Oh, maybe a painting. But I still feel called to it. Well, I feel called to something ... I dunno. Just called.
All I know is that God is far from finished with me. And He's taking care of me. And He's got great things in store for me! And I also know that I desperately need to get in touch with Him again. Because, I miss Him. And I am sure He misses me more than I could ever know.
And then these things, like being better to my body -- the temple of His Holy Spirit; and putting less value in secular consumerist things, and more value in genuine relationships, and love, and joy (!!) will come much easier. At least I hope.
And these worries, and these desires of my heart, like a husband, a family, a home of my own, a garden to provide for my family, they'll all come.
I think I know where I have to start. I'm signed up for the Intro to Health Basics Class, and I'm going to join Pottery. But I need a better handle on my finances, this I know! And, most importantly, I need to get back in with the church. I've found a church I like! And I go every other Sunday -- because right now that's all I get off! But I need a community again. And, it's not surprising that this is the hardest of these challenges for me to face right now. (Ok, so maybe the finances too ... but I know what I have to do there! And it's just plain ol' not be stupid!)
...
So sorry if I lost you in all this mess. Believe it or not though, for me, it kinda helped.
... I think,
Yeah, we'll leave it at that.
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